One Trick Pony Dump
by HyperSpooches58
Summary: Zim only hears what he wants to hear, Dib invites him over to play video games, Gaz is hitting Zim with a iron bar and other interesting topics await you. So click the link. Click it. CLICK IT NOW.
1. Better Hope So

A bright green skinned alien walked through the blanketing fog, he swiped furiously at the crowding whiteness around him. He had never experienced this before on Earth. He had on Irk before when they clean-sweeped the planet Rit. A windy and humid planet. For months the whole population of Irk was miserable when the winds traveled to them. The most surprising part was that it wasn't Zim's fault for once.

Now the Irken was experiencing true fog and he hated it. He couldn't see a thing in front of him, even when he took out his contacts he still couldn't make out the road ahead of him. Continuing on his quest he ventured forward even deeper into the path he chose to take and to his surprise found he was all the way in the skool's playground. He guessed as much when he felt a metal bar. He felt it more and noticed it was moving. Then it hit him.

Literally.

Zim fell foward on his knees clutching his bleeding head in agony. When he looked up to see who his attacker was he was startled to find it was the Dib's sister. Gaz. was it? He put on his best angry expression as he could with the pain he was in. "How dare you hit Zim with a metal bar!" he confronted her, standing to his feet.

Gaz raised an eyebrow, "Oh, so it was _you _I hit? Huh, no wonder the space I hit felt hollow."

Zim cocked his head to the side confused at her joke, "Eh?"

Gaz mentally rolled her eyes and kept going forward, not even bothering to step over him as she crushed his ribcage. He coughed violently while he clutched his bruised body, no longer feeling the pain in his head. Gaz looked behind her and stared at him for a while, apathetic and thinking he was pathetic. She growled, stomped her foot, and stormed over to the alien on the ground.

When the Irken raised his head he saw the bloody bar once again and winced, preparing for another hit but when it didn't come he stared up at the black-clad girl in front of him.

"Are you just going to sit there or are you going to grab on?" Gaz snarled.

Zim snatched at the bar and hauled himself up with a newfound strength he had gotten from staring at this purple-haired female's pale face. He almost felt lightheaded... or maybe that was from the blood loss from his head injury. Either way he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Finally fed up with his nagging staring Gaz shot a finger up at him, "I will rip out your eyeballs and stuff them down your throat if you don't turn around right now."

Zim complied and turned away, he still couldn't get the image of her holding down that bloody bat off of his mind. It lingered in his conscious all day long and never left him. When he saw her after skool he headed her way, now able to see in front of him as the fog had lifted.

"Dib-sister!" he called for her attention, at the top of the steps.

Gaz hunched her shoulders and turned her head, "Don't call me that. What do you want?"

Zim ran down the stairs and stood in front of Gaz, "Do all female creatures on this planet have as fine facial features as yours?"

Gaz raised her eyebrows in surprise at his question but quickly turned sour as she wrinkled her nose and clenched her teeth, "What type of question is that?!"

Zim shrugged, "A normal human question."

The girl huffed and mumbled, "Humans don't ask questions like that unless they're-" she stopped noticing what she was about to say.

"Unless they're what?" Zim ran up to her again, holding her hands. He looked down and commented, "Follow up question; are all they're hands as soft as yours?"

This time Gaz smacked him out of the way, bright red streaked across her cheeks, "Stop asking me these stupid questions, Zim. Now go away or I'll beat you with my bar again."

For a while that threat had worked but a block away from her house she heard him say, "You never told me what unless was."

She rolled her eyes and turned to him, "Fine! Unless they're boyfriend and girlfriend, Zim!"

"What are-" he was cut short by her sharp answer.

"When two idiots, a boy and a girl, make out and other stupid stuff. Don't ask me what making out is. Go ask your computer or leaders or something."

Zim had left her alone now after that awkward and surprising day. It wasn't until Friday, a week after, he went up to her again.

"Zim has been thinking and he wants to ask you one more question." his hands were behind his back.

"Oh,not this again. Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" Gaz growled.

Suddenly the alien got on one knee and held out gleaming Irken ring, "Will you marry me?"

Gaz stood in shock at this question unable to answer, so she backed away and ran off hoping to never see Zim again. Hoping he'd get hit by a car or struck by lightning before he could chase after her. Anything. Just take that stupid nuisance out of her life.

Zim tried. Three more times. Each time Gaz had either left or beat the crud out of him. She was walking home when he caught her again and the familiar, tired phrase was asked again, "Will you marry me?"

Something broke in Gaz this time. She shouted, " You idiot! You don't just ask someone to marry you! Especially not me! I'm nine years old and you're 190 years old probably! Now stay away from me or I swear I'm going to tear you limb from limb! Got it?!"

Zim threw down the ring, "Zim goes to all this trouble to flatter a human girl and all he gets is bruises and regects! He's tired of being stepped on by you little Gaz!"

Gaz was taken aback that someone would talk back to her in such a way, "You're just asking for a black eye now!"

"Why dont you just listen to me for once! Zim has something to say before you grind him into a pulp!" he pleaded.

Gaz straightened up from her fighting position and stared angrily at him.

"Zim did what you told him to do and he found out about marriage. It's when a friendboy and a friendgirl get engaged to marry. We're friendboy and friendgirl, right? You said we were."

"I NEVER SAID THAT! I explained to you about it but I never said we were it!"

"Well don't you feel honored that I want to be your friendboy?"

"It's _boyfriend and girlfriend _Zim. No, I don't feel "honored" you idiot. I want you to leave so why would I want more of you?"

Zim sat down on the ground, "Zim understands. SO Gaz sister doesn't like Zim?"

Gaz shook her head, "No!"

"Zim likes Gaz-sister. She's dangerous. All a good Irken girl could be." Zim commented smiling.

"I'm not your kind, I'm human." she corrected him.

"Yes, but you act like one. Very tough, strong, and hard-headed." Zim said.

"What did you say about liking me again?" Gaz asked.

"I like you. You're facial features are top of the line and your hands are soft but can beat down many enemies." he took her hands again.

"You DON'T like me Zim. You're just interested in me."

Zim thought, "Then Zim is interested in you. Are you interested in him?"

Now that Gaz thought about it, she _was_ kind of curious what his race was like and if they were all dumb like Zim.

Gaz shrugged, "I guess so."

Zim tapped his fingers together mischeviously, "So we are interested together?"

The dark girl nodded, "Sure."

Zim shot up like a rocket, "Yes! The Gaz has confirmed she is interested in Zim! That is the pathway to being girlfriend!"

Gaz crunched his arm in her grasp, "Why are you so _bent _on being my boyfriend?!"

"Because Zim is interested in you. He wants to know more about you. You know like why do you sleep, how did you get your hair that style and why you're so much darker than everyhuman else."

Gaz blinked, no-one had ever asked about her other than the annoying brat.

"Fine. We can be... allies. But NOTHING more. Got it?" Gaz snapped.

Zim nodded and quickly added, "The Joker and Harley Davidson were allies before they became love-es."

"How do you know that and It's Harley Quinn. Not Davidson. That's a type of motorcycle."

"So you're interested in motorcycles?"

"I never said tha-"

"Goodbye Gaz-creature, Zim will see you the day after today!" Zim dashed off ahead of her, eager to look up motorcycles from his Computer.

Gaz sighed but smirked a little as she watched him run off, "He's one stupid, crazy, alien." and disappeared inside her house.


	2. Friendship

Zim had never considered in the few years he had been on Earth that he would befriend one of the inhabitants. He was positive he was going to make enemies, which he did, the Dib, Gaz-sibling, and his whole class of idiots. Though he had to admittedly applaud Ms. Bitters' harshness against the brats. So he did make enemies, he made allies with Gaz a year ago and she was gradually growing fond of him, which surprised yet delighted him. He hoped that one day she would come to her senses and agree to marry him as he had continually requested. Truth be told, he didn't really understand marriage. All he knew waas that it was two people who made a vow to each other to stay together forever. Zim had already made that vow in his Irken organ equivalent of a heart. It was strange the sudden feelings he had for the purple-haired little girl. He never seemed to take an interest in her before but like a light going off she stayed in Zim's mind obsessively. But that wasn't important right now.

What was important was figuring out why, of _all _people, had Dib decided to invite Zim over for gaming on the video. He had ran that over in his mind instantly after he had asked him. He was his sworn enemy, never did enemies spend time together unless they were ripping each others guts out. It was confusing and mind-boggling for the Irken whose superior brain found itself inferior to the question. No matter what way you put it, Dib had invited Zim over and that was _bad_.

Meanwhile at the Membrane household, Dib was pacing furiously in the hallway for Zim's arrival. It could be any moment now and he had to be ready for any surprises the alien had up his sleeves. He had after all threatened to skin him alive if he didn't agree to come and fix his computer. But Zim had been so shocked afterwards that he was afraid that in the slightest off chance he had scared Zim into hiding. There was no way, he had added quickly afterward, that Zim would be scared by mere words. Especially words from Dib's mouth. He never took the human serious yet this time he had stood there shaking like a twig in a hurricane then ran off with a short scream. Zim was odd but not that off so he hadn't expected that at all. It was a simple threat, even nonchalant. It's not like he could really skin Zim, he didn't have the right tools yet. But they were coming in the mail in about two weeks so soon it wouldn't be an empty threat but a real one and he planned to carry out an attempt to capture or lure the alien. It had seemed this hadn't fazed him or fazed him too much when it hit eight and still Zim hadn't appeared. He was getting frustrated. If he had to hunt down the stupid green idiot he would just to get his computer back. Wit his computer broken he couldn't download any collected data, he couldn't communicate with his fellow Swollen Eyeballs.

Zim slowly walked across the street, nearing toward the two story house that housed his worst enemy. And he was heading for it, invited to it. Maybe it was a trap, he begun to thought, maybe the Dib was planning an attack he did say something about skinning him alive but that was not possible, especially with the feble tools he had. It was like a butterknife to Zim's skin. Only when Dib pushed down really hard did it hurt so he put an end to that right away. There were thousands more plans he could think of but the static of a security feild was becoming numbingly loud as he appproached the walkway to his doorstep. With a final deep breath Zim put on an irritated front and knocked harshly on the door. Inside Dib shot up from the couch and swung the door open.

"You're late." he snapped viciously.

"Too bad. Now let's get this over with. Another second with you is less valuable breathing space." Zim retorted.

Dib stepped out of the way and allowed the Irken inside. Unlike his own house Dib's smelled of lavender and vanilla. Which was strange that Zim instantly knew the scent.

"If you're checking out what that smell is, its the new air freshener Dad's assistant built in." Dib turned to Zim, looking amused.

"Why would you think I would ever be interested in your stinking home?" Zim inquired harshly.

"Because your antennae are lifting your wig." Dib smirked.

Zim raised a non-existant eyebrow and held down his wig firmly, grunting in disdain at the boy.

They climbed up the stairs in silence and walked into Dib's room which reeked of Poop Cola and old pizza opposed to the otherwise clean house. Scattered worn clothing was strewn across the floor along with mismatched boots and dirty socks. It was almost as disgusting as the inside of Gir's head. Zim was sure of it. Carefully "hopping rocks" around the room Zim finally made it to the computer alongside Dib who looked extra annoyed because of Zim's germaphobia.

"Well take out your weird alien tools and fix it. I'll be sitting here. Just. Watching." Dib sat down in his chair.

Something snapped in Zim's mind and he turned shaking in anger to Dib, "You invited Zim over to fix your junk!? You honestly think I have time out of my day to meddle with your contraptions!?"

Dib crossed his arms, "So you're not going to fix it?"

"No!" Zim spat, "Pah! To honestly think you were inviting me over."

The alien stormed out of the room in fury, Dib sat surprised at his comment. "Wait. Wait!" he called after Zim who was almost making his way out.

"What do you want now? I told you I'm not touching your inferior devices." Zim snarled, obviously furious about something.

"You wanted me to invite you over didn't you?" Dib pointed a finger at him.

"No! It sounded like you were." Zim shot back.

"And _you _only hear the words you **want **to hear! Ha! You're mad because you thought I was inviting you over!" Dib laughed heartily, almost falling down the stairs.

Zim clutched the door with a death grip, now he was laughing at him. Now it was war. The Irken ran and tackled Dib. They fell down the stairs together and Zim pinned Dib against the floor who was still laughing slightly.

"That's wat you're mad about right? Right?" Dib said between chuckles.

Zim hummed angrily and squeezed Dib's shoulder roughly, "I already told you why I'm angry. You invited me over to fix your stuff. I'm not your slave, Dib."

"But that's not the real reason. I know why you're really mad, Zim. You wanted me to ask you to come to my house. For some... odd... reason.." Dib drifted off thinking about what he was saying.

"Wait, if you.. wanted to come to my house... then that means... you want to be... friends!" he rolled around on the floor laughing ten times more louder.

Zim wrinkled his nose space in disgust, trying to hide a thin blush of green across his cheeks, "Why would I want to befriend you?! You're a slime creature like the rest of them!"

Dib sat up as Zim released him from under his grip, "Yeah, but I'm different and you know it. Admit it Zim you want us to be friends. Which is NEVER going to happen for the record."

Zim rolled his eyes slightly, "You just don't get it."

"No, Zim. No. You don't get it." Dib stopped laughing abruptly, "You want us to be friends unknowingly. You may not notice but I do. You call me Dib now for goodness sake. You just don't see it because all you see is yourself."

Zim didn't expect a lecture on his conceitedness but he listened anyways.

"You want someone else in that picture Zim. It's not Gaz, it's not that robot, it's me. You want me on your side."

Zim blinked, dumbfounded, did he want the Dib on his side?

No.

"I've had enough of this, Dib! Im leaving and you can't stop me." Zim slammed the door after him and bolted down the dark street.

Dib opened the door back up and called down to him, "Confess it Zim! You want me on your side! Don't hide it!"

Zim gasped as he kept running, hands holding down his antennae.

No.

No.

He didn't want him on his side.

He wanted him... _by _his side.


	3. Buffering

Gaz had never experienced anything like this. It was infuriating and mind-numbingly hard to ignore. It swirled and circled right in front of her eyes, teasing her with what lay on the other side. It stopped her from her gameplaying and _no-one _stops Gaz from playing her Game Slave. The game was buffering.

She checked the battery to make sure no leaks were spilling from it. Not a drop. She pressed the pause button and the play button again, nothing. She tried bringing the game back a few stages and then working her way back up to the level but when she got back to the same exact spot the character froze and that cursed wheel spun it's cycle again.

She screamed in fury and inpatience. She wanted to see what was on the next level but she couldn't because her game wouldn't even hit the checkpoint. Desperate, she saved the game and unloaded the batteries. She emptied out the remote control batteries and placed them inside her game console's. Again, the game buffered. Every single passing moment was wasting playing time and Gaz didn't intend on staying all night long without her game. She might _die_.

Though she hated to admit it she loved her Game Slave to the point that if it stayed this way she would cry herself to sleep. Gaz never cried, but her games were her life. They were an outlet to stupid skool, and stupid Dib, and Zim. She agreed to be the annoying alien's ally but he was bent on making her fall for him. None of his plans succeded as usual and Gaz wasn't even fazed by his gifts. They were "girl" gifts like flowers, candy, and a bear. The last thing she needed was junk that she could buy herself.

"He should make himself useful and come up here with some weird tool to fix my game, _then _I'd be impressed." Gaz admitted, tinkering with the console.

A moment's notice later a knock came at the door and she shouted, "Dib! Go open the door! I'm busy!"

"Busy doing what? Playing your stupid pig vampire zombies?" Dib taunted as he climbed down the stairs.

"It's Vampire Piggy Hunter...!" Gaz growled in a low threatening voice.

She heard the door open and then came the dreaded words, "Zim! What are you doing here?!"

Gaz rolled her eyes and clutched her game with a death grip, leaving dents on it's interior. The last thing she needed was a meddling idiot alien to interrupt her thought process.

"Wait," Gaz thought out loud, "He's got some high-tech stuff in his labs. Maybe. Just this once and I'm never accepting anything else from him!"

"Just move out of the way and let me see Gaz, slime-beast." Zim's voice came clearer as she walked over to the doorway.

Dib looked down at his little sister but before he could get a word out she pushed him over.

"Hi." Gaz murmered, already seeing today's idiotic gift. A box of chocolates.

"Hello, Little Gaz. Zim has a surprise for you." Zim grinned, "Close your eyes. No looking!"

Gaz gave him a look, "My eyes are as closed as they can get."

"Oh yeah. That's right." Zim produced the box from behind his back with a smirk, "Specially made just for you."

Gaz sneered and took the box with her index finger and pinkie as if it would sting her to touch it, "Th-anks."

"Zim welcomes you." he returned.

"It's _you're welcome_." Gaz corrected him.

"Oh." he stared down feeling stupid as usual when she corrected him.

"Oh, Zim. Before you go, can we go and stop by your base and uhm let me see some of your.. _cool_ lab stuff." Gaz spat out as nicely as she could.

He lightened up instantly, "Zim would be honored to show you his labs."

"Great. Then let's go." Gaz stormed out the door, dragging the alien like a rag-doll down the sidewalk.

Soon they approached his lavender door in the secret death-trap that was his base walkway.

"Zim's just glad he decided to shut off auto-defense otherwise Little Gaz would be dust right now." Zim chimed.

Gaz wanted to strangle him but restrained herself, "Oh-ho you'll be surprised what I can dodge."

They walked into the house and immeadiatly she was met with the stench of wet dog and waffles. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. Didn't the twerp clean up or something around here? Or at least his servants?

"I apologize for the smell, Gir just got done making his Irk-forsaken waffles." Zim shuddered.

Gaz turned back to him, "Can you tell me what ingrediant he put in it that smells like a sweaty sock?"

"A sweaty sock." Zim shrugged.

For the first time, Gaz grimaced but before he could notice it she stopped and remained her apathetic stature.

* * *

~ A few minutes later ~-

"You moron!" a screech came from a corner and a beaker went flying past Zim's head.

"Zim can explain!" a pleading yell sounded from the Irken.

"I hope you like eating glass, you liar!" this time the flask successfully nailed Zim and he was sent to the ground, glass broken all over his face, leaving small cuts, "I never want to see you again! Stay away from me Zim or I will _kill _you."

She never used the death threat but Zim had messed with the long territory telling her that he had just the tool to fix her game and wound up empty-handed. She stormed over to the elevator, bashed the inside of it in anger and eventually slammed the door behind her as she left Zim's base. Fuming with anger.

When she returned home she had calmed down a little bit but not much and now Dib was watching his Mysterious Mysteries on her couch. She didn't know how much left of the day she could take. In a fit of bottled up rage she threw the chocolate box across the floor which ended in a loud crash.

She cocked an eyebrow and slowly walked over to the box. For all she could know it was bomb that Zim had set in case she did what she had. She opened up the heart cover and to her surprise in brand new condition was a game-reseter.

She gasped, this didn't come out in America until August. How could he have obtained this? Then she thought back to the week he had gone missing. Maybe he was all the way in Asia getting it for her.

She found herself feeling a weird sensation she had never felt before. It was aching in her gut and made her want to throw up. It was guilt.

How could she have been so heartless to him? 'Because he's an idiot.' she reminded herself.

"He's an idiot... Ugh. That deserves an apology." she admitted, "That can wait."

She ran over to her Game Slave and inserted the small disk into it's drive, instantly the game restarted at the same point and she was well on her way to the next level. She played the night away, secretly thanking the green moron in her head.


	4. Not Good Enough

Zim had loved snacks as any Irken did. Snacks were their everyday meal, nothing but sweets and savors were what they devoured day in and day out. Zim especially enjoyed snacks, he could eat cookies, nachos, and candy all day if he could but he had to admit that the snacks he so loved were doing strange things to his body. He was enlarging like Skoodge. He had looked at himself in the mirror at skool the other day when he snuck out of class early to plan his newest evil plot. He couldn't help but notice that there was a thin barely visible line under his stomach. Irkens were supposed to keep fit and active and now that he thought about it he hadn't had obeyed to any of those rules. And now he was seeing the results. He didn't want to end up like Skoodge so he fixed this right away. He ran all the way back to his base that following day when skool let out. Instead of planning he did the normal drill routine he knew all too well from the Academy.

That didn't work. Zim didn't look any different. He was confused. He had worked out the whole 5 hours he was supposed to be planning. Maybe he needed to lay off the chips and soda. Which he did. Still no difference. He was becoming worried now, what if the Tallest disowned him for being fat. He couldn't bear the thought of that so he quit snacks altogether. After a week he found himself starving for one cookie. So he had one. Instantly afterwards he did the military warm-up and looked himself up and down. He was still close to Skoodge's size.

Dib was the first to ask Zim why his arms and legs had become so thin and frail after Zim almost broke his wrist holding a ball during gym time.

"Hey, spaceboy. Why are you so pale and whimpy all of the sudden?" Dib confronted him in the locker room.

Zim groaned, holding his wrist in one palm and looked up at Dib with the toughest face he could muster under the pain he was feeling, "What do you mean, Earth-stink. Zim is no different than from yesterday."

"Yeah that's right. It's been a week you've been like this. What are you up to? Did a world starvation plan backfire on you?" Dib smirked.

Zim shook his head and glared at Dib, "It's none of your filthy businesses, Earth boy. Now get out of Zim's way."

Zim headed for the mirror and Dib watched as he looked at his reflection closely, examining every fold in his uniform. From the side Zim looked even worse. His uniform now looked like a dress compared to his skinny form and the sleeves were sagging. He really did wonder what he was up to. Why was Zim starving himself?

Then a transmission came in. It was from the Tallest. By this time Zim was barely fitting his uniform, the shoulders sagged, the tunic was now a dress, and the gloves just slipped off. The Tallest winced and shielded their eyes from Zim's appearance. He looked horrid. Skinny, pale, and his eyes were starting to pop out a little bit more. Zim gave a smile, "Greeting my Tallest."

Red was the first to speak, "Man, Zim. What did you do to yourself?"

Purple added on, "You look horrible."

Red again, "Even uglier than usual."

Zim's smile faded and turned into a dropping jaw. The Tallest were going to tell him that he was too fat to be an invader. He'd be exiled for sure.

"Zim you're so...-"

Zim cut the transmission with a single bony hand. He couldn't hear those words. He would show the Tallest that he could get back into shape not matter what it took. Zim quit eating and drinking altogether. He refused to eat anything. GIR tried to get him to eat some of his waffles but he threw them right back at his face. GIR had no idea what was going on with his Master. But Computer did and showed him his vitals. His heartbeat was slowing rapidly. Zim said he didn't need to be reminded of how un-fit he was and continued exercising. It was all he did. He didn't go to skool, he didn't leave the upper level to go down to his labs, he just exercised and starved himself.

Finally one day Dib came over to check in on him, expecting him to be plotting. He was plotting... a work-out plan. When Zim had opened the door he gasped and stepped back. "We need to talk, moron." Zim's wig didn't fit his head anymore and his contacts didn't either. He would still see the magenta of Zim's eyes.

"You need help." Dib said very seriously to Zim.

Zim sighed, "I'm not THAT fat, you know. You, the Tallest, GIR, you all just love criticizing me."

Dib shook Zim, "Zim! You are not fat! Look at you! You're a twig!"

Zim stared back at Dib, "Well, I have been working out."

Dib glared, "You've done a lot more than that. Eat, Zim. Eat whatever Irkens eat. Just eat. I'm not going to have you die without me doing it."

Zim looked up at Dib, "Die? Zim will not die. He's perfectly fine."

"No, you're not. You need help. Just take it into consideration okay?" Dib walked over to the door.

Zim turned his back to Dib and the human sighed before slamming the door behind him.

The force knocked him off the couch and onto the floor. His head hit the ground hard, he couldn't get back up. His arms were giving out on him and his legs, he could barely lift. Zim closed his eyes tightly and took in shuddering breaths as his head pounded. GIR was nowhere around and Dib was probably all the way down the sidewalk.

He screamed for help, desperate to get back up. No-one could hear him and no-one was around. Zim died alone.

Anorexia is a real and dangerous disease of the mind. Girls and sometimes even guys ggo out of their way to get skinny even when they are at perfect size. They don't see what others do. They see fat and ugly. I dedicate this story to all anorexics. You're beautiful and please get help if you haven't already. Don't end up like Zim. nd


End file.
